


Poetry-inna-Bun

by Zoya1416



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bad Poetry, But At Least It Rhymes, Love, Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:11:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because this resembles real poetry the same way Dibbler's special resembles a real sausage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poetry-inna-Bun

**Author's Note:**

> Since RL is intruding at this point, I'm not up for much intense writing. But silly verses occurred to me, which did demand some time, in search of rhyme--yep, they're that good.

PART ONE--LOVE

Samuel loved Sybil  
When under the claw  
Of the great dragon  
Which opened its maw.  
The fact that she loved him  
Seemed awfully strange,  
So he would stop drinking,  
Start smoking in change.

 

Adora loved golems,  
Beings of clay,  
Even when windows  
Were broken each day.

Von Lipwig saw Dearheart,  
Being of smoke,  
Dearheart saw Lipwig,  
A being of fraud.  
He stopped intriguing;  
By her he was awed.

 

Angua loved Carrot  
Three weeks out of four.  
When chasing chickens  
She knew him no more.

He gave her a locket  
With all the moon's tides.  
She didn't need it,  
The Change clawed inside.

But always she loved him,  
The clean smell of soap,  
The innocent face which  
Always gave hope  
That bi-morphs and dwarfs  
With each other could cope.

 

PART TWO--THE TRUTH

 

Miss Cripslock watched Will, with her pencil upraised  
Til he fell in love, and was gobsmacked and dazed.

The dwarfs and their lead and their new printing presses,  
Got Ankh-Morpork to reading the very best messes!  
Ridiculous carrots and parsnips so rude—  
Good thing no pictures, but oh they were crude!

Tulip and Pin, and their so-special New Firm  
Were men of such violence that everyone else squirmed.

They coshed Vetinari  
To substitute Charlie

They faked a robbery—to frame Vetinari—  
So Vimes made an arrest, but he really was sorry.

Everyone tried to find Wuffles the first.  
A dog as chief witness? You'd laugh til you burst.

Old Ron found sweet Wuffles, and then kept him hidden  
To William Gaspode gave a very big chance  
To publish the Truth, and then let the Firm dance  
The old hemp fandango--and give them good riddance. 

The Firm caught Miss Cripslock when she wouldn't beg  
Pin thought he'd win til the dog bit his leg!

Then came the big fire that melted the lead,  
Down In the cellar the big man was dead. 

The other one almost gave William a strike  
But Will got there first with a terrible spike!

They then found the jewels and Will heard a story  
His father thought that treason was really a glory. 

A silly old vampire in love with the light,  
Kept all of his menace and threatened to bite  
The senior de Worde when he snarled so at Will—  
And Chriek made his point without having to kill.

Vetinari came back without missing a minute  
He thought the newspaper was a has-been-it.  
Will said that THEY would be granting him interviews.  
For Harry King William then paid his own dues—  
All of Ankh-Morpork which had its own carriage,  
Tiaras, and vermine, would go to the marriage.

So Will and Miss Cripslock were taking a day  
To be by themselves without feeding the paper.  
But then the loose four-horses brewer's dray  
Turned all of their time off back into a caper.

This is a paper which has to be fed  
The spaces filled up til they put it to bed.  
New news, and pictures, with names, laughs and sorrows—  
It has to be true--at least til tomorrow!


End file.
